Talking to Your Children About Sex, Transgender and Choice
- by Malena A. Jackson
- Apr 27, 2015
- 3 min read
It’s no secret, things have changed. When I was growing up, my parents dare not discuss the birds and the bees with us at such an early age. In fact, the whole idea was sugar coated with the term the “birds and the bees.” I still don’t understand where that came from.
Anyway, on Friday, there was breaking news!
Former Olympic Gold Medalist Bruce Jenner had a sit-down interview, scheduled to announce to the world, that he was in fact, transitioning into womanhood. Part of me was relieved to hear that he was finally ready to live in what he calls his truth, then part of me was like, ‘Oh, my goodness! I’ve got to tell the kids about this.’
I really didn’t have an organized plan of action, but I knew that I would be up front about what was going down. As my husband and I sat there, glued to the program, audio levels above normal, my nine-year-old son comes into the family room and asks, “What are you watching?”
It was just the question that I was waiting for. He was curious because very seldom does he witness both his father and I sitting attentively, together, watching a television program. This was our time to introduce them to the transgender world. His older sister shortly followed to inquire about what was going on.
There he was, Bruce Jenner, on our big screen, talking and crying. I used that sound bite and visual to bluntly explain to my children that this was a man, who felt trapped. He wants to transition into a woman and was finally taking the leap to do so. This is what we call transgender.
We have lived in California for well over seven years now. As soon as the children were old enough to notice two men holding hands, I quickly explained that they were gay or known as homosexual, which means a man desiring to be with a man or a woman desiring to be with another woman, which is also known as being a lesbian. I had become numb to the ideal that this was way too much information for a five and six year old, at the time. The bigger part of me simply wanted them to get the information from me, not anyone else.
Never before had there been the need for me to introduce the transgender world to them, than now. We’ve never actually seen a transgender person, while we are out and about. My whole idea is that I want my children to be comfortable when they see two women holding hands or kissing, like the time when were at Six Flags and it made them giggle. I think that knowledge and awareness is power when it comes to the topics of difference, sexuality, race and gender.
The crazy thing is, I’ve exposed my children to more topics around homosexuality than I have about actual sex. Now, I’m introducing the talk about transgender awareness.
I don’t have a specific formula for what to say to your child or how to say it. I think as parents, it is important to be in tune to the personality of your child. I know that my children like for me to be as open as I can, on their level. That’s what I did. I refrain from dictating to them what is acceptable and what is not. When I talk about homosexuality, they may ask why or how does the person know that they want to be with the same sex? My answer, is that they desire the same sex and some say that they knew from a very early age. I never say that one is bad and one is good. I tell them that my hope is they will choose what is best for them when that time comes.
Parenting is not for the faint at heart. This role calls for us to be present and open. These are issues that our children rely on us to help them comprehend. While I don’t feel that we should say what is right or what is wrong, in our opinion. I encourage parents across the world to stay open and accessible for their children. Pay attention to their cues. Be mindful and reassure your children that you are a resource for them. That’s really your job, to be their resource and offer security and protection. Make each moment a teachable moment by staying present.
How have you explained issues like these with your children? Let us know by leaving a comment below.
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